It wasn’t until Jaime was a week into a depression episode and I was experiencing high anxiety that I realized how important it is to communicate. I was stressed worrying about her, not sleeping at night, tired everyday all day and felt I needed the help of my mom. I needed her to come and ease the stress off me. If she only came and cooked that would’ve helped or just her presence and assistance with Jaime would’ve been beneficial. The only thing was, she was not available to come and In my mind I felt like she wasn’t putting in enough effort to come. Now, y’all understand that I never told her WHY I needed her to come.
I was so disappointed and full one evening I just decided to tell Jaime how I was feeling. I told her that my anxiety was high, and how worried I was about her. I told her that everything she was going through takes a toll on me and makes me uneasy so momo not coming to help out hurt me. I remember saying I’m so stressed and mom should know that. Jaime asked did you tell momo why you needed her to come, I responded
no I didn’t and that’s when Jaime said:-Hope
momma that’s how I felt about you, you should’ve known how I was feeling.-Jaime
WOW!!! That was a total eye opener! I in turn said I’m so glad you said that….that was the beginning of Jaime opening up to me about her feelings and it taught me a lesson to never assume others know what i’m going through, and how i’m feeling unless I tell them. I know that some wear their feelings on their sleeves but some are good at disguising things. We are all human, and sometimes we need help, encouragement, and reassurance that things are going to be OK. That doesn’t mean that you’re weak, or less than a man or woman.
Talk to your kids, loved ones, and those that are considered true friends about what you are feeling. It can make a world of difference in how they understand you and how you communicate with one another. Often times we like to assume that others are aware of how we’re feeling when they’re not. Assuming sometimes lead to miscommunication, and thinking that no one cares for you when that couldn’t be furthest from the truth!
I was once told by my husband that you set yourself up for disappointment if you expect people to treat you how you treat them. This is true, because you may be attentive, vigilant, in tune with others emotions & feelings, and all that’s good but you can’t get mad if the next person isn’t. Does that make them a bad person, friend or loved one? NO, we all have different personalities and characteristics. Enjoy people for who and what they are, and lets not impose on them how we think they should be or act. This was a hard lesson I had to learn especially with the kids. You try to give them what they want and need, you’re there for them at all times good & bad, you try to raise them a certain way that will prepare them for the future and you do everything to benefit their well being. They may not always reciprocate our actions and sacrifice but have faith that when they get older they wont depart from your teachings. They’ll refer back to the teachings you taught and the example you showed in good & bad times Trusting In God.
6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.Proverbs 22:6