I once heard a saying that says ” words are like toothpaste, once it’s out you can’t put it back in” what a perfect analogy. For whatever reason we sometimes have those moments of saying things we wish we could just take back. Whether it be good words that the receiver is non appreciative of that leads to regretting that we said anything, or bad words that hurt or damage relationships. Words have power to make or break lives & spirits. Words are so powerful that the bible says that the power of life and death is in the tongue. So, my question to you is: What are you speaking to or about yourself and others?
On our family cruise trip we took in November 2019 there was an incident between the kids where Jaime said some ugly hurtful things to her sister and offended her other siblings. Shay the voice of reason was not able to reason with Jaime, Juwan the one who never says anything and on this occasion tried to deescalate things was cursed by Jaime, and well Bria, just watched but had all kinds of opinions about it later. Let me mention that everything that happened took place off the boat in Cozumel, Mexico. Jaime stormed off and left the others and came back to the boat. Lanier and I returned to the boat after our excursion only for me to go to Jaime & my moms room and find her crying and ranting about the situation. Then I get a group text that included Jaime and I from Lyric saying “Jaime you better be back on that boat”. And although she (Jaime) said all those hurtful things she had the nerve to be crying. So, I was greeted with one in a room crying and the other waiting for me to come back to my room to inform me of the situation. I felt like I was in the twilight zone. I’m thinking I let them all go off together for once without me & daddy and all hell breaks loose. Now, after hearing what happened and the things Jaime said to Lyric I knew 2 things:
- Jaime must’ve been out of her mind for playing with Lyric the one child that does not mind laying hands.
- Lyric is perfectly capable of responding to a situation verses reacting to one.
Listening to Lyric tell what happened and then asking me if I was going to punish Jaime was so surreal to me. Punish her…Why? I really had to laugh. The lil Jaime that had never acted out like that with her siblings had shook things up. I replied No, i’m not punishing her y’all are sisters and that kinda stuff happens. Furthermore, YOU telling me about punishing somebody you’ve got to be kidding me…GIRL BYE!
After returning home while riding with Jaime one day I said you should need a refill on your medicine by now. She replied no, I got some. I then started thinking and asked when was the last time you took it and she said I DON’T KNOW, WHAT? You Don’t know…. Jaime were you taking your medicine before the trip? She said NO! I know that her being off her meds possibly made a simple issue 10x more upsetting to her. Now I won’t let her being off her meds be an excuse for her actions but I’m sure it contributed to the seriousness of the incident that took place. I find myself always debating on what’s a symptom of her mental illness and what’s just her being spoiled. I do believe that some can and will use their mental illness as an excuse or for self gain.
Now, a month or so had passed and Jaime decided she would send Lyric a text apology but little did she know it would not have been taken as easy as she thought. Typing this i’m actually laughing. The day the text was sent Jaime begins texting me saying she never wants to talk to Lyric again. I go to Jaime’s room and ask why? what’s going on and she’s drenched in tears telling me that she apologized and Lyric said something stupid. I said, well hunni you didn’t give Lyric a choice when you cursed her and said the things you said but now that you’ve apologized Lyric has an option to accept it or not. If she doesn’t accept it just know that you’ve done the right thing but her not accepting your apology is the consequence you pay.
I knew in the beginning there was no need for me to intervene in that situation because Jaime was going to have to face what she did again. Her heart being broken by Lyric’s response to her apology was just a lesson for her. You can’t expect to do and say things to people and think they are going to get over it or forgive you when YOU want them too. It just doesn’t work that way.